The Great Weekend
Yeah sex is great but have you had a good old-fashioned campfire moment with great friends recently?
|Helena||Aug 19, 2019|| 1|
Every so often a great weekend comes by that first scoops you up for a whirl & twirl, then gently puts you down and gently tucks you in with a soft, warm blanket.
It’s been almost a month but I can’t stop thinking about that one great weekend where I had fun in the sun, scooter rides for bakmi and just plain love and affection from friends.
The beautiful thing is, among the great weekend and other great things that have been happening to me, I made a note in my weekly planner that I haven’t had a dip in 15 days. Now consciously it may have been only 15 days, but it’s probably been a good 2 months since my last major episode.
And probably that is why you haven’t heard at all from me! I was this close to writing an edition here and there, but the truth is I occasionally fall prey to the get hurt & make art scenario. Writing is actually so much easier when I’m nursing myself from a cocktail of childhood traumas, plus dreading through all the responsibilities I assume as a 20 Something.
Writing has played a big part in liberating me from pain. But to actually produce writing? Pain had to exist prior to writing. Which is not to say I’m hurting right now, or that I have been hurting at all. In fact, I have been spending so much time being grateful for each moment that is given to me, that is earned, and it all feels so rewarding that I’ve been tempted to move away from my pen, over and over.
But I want to breathe new life into my writing. I’ve written diary entries, schoolwork essays, love letters, awful poems and occasionally professional copywriting. And then there is this — this timid and humble space I’ve crafted for you and I. It’s a little blooming space, and to be brutally honest, I’m shy!
I’m shy because you’ve given me the trust to spare a minute or two, to connect on a wavelength that is getting increasingly difficult to tap into, because we have so many things to do, so many emotions to feel, and often we experience all of these by our own without someone commemorating them succinctly. In fact, moments go by so quickly it’s like we forgot to hire a photographer to capture the moment.
I don’t say I’m assuming the position to succintly tell the greatest stories of our lives as 20 Somethings. But I want to. And you’ve given me permission to try so I’m grateful.
So, to begin that, I probably have to come out of my shell, come out of my initial triggers, and give birth to a new way of writing. I want to deliver a Lunch Box moment that is candid, silly, and most importantly — something that will lift your spirits and make you feel more connected to the other 20 Somethings.
The Great Weekend
The great weekend happened some weeks ago and it aligned nicely with the ‘reinvention’ of myself. Now, reinvention seems awfully dramatic, but what I’ve been doing is a tiny notch up from, say, ‘realigning’.
All of that just means I’ve acquired a cute Mossery planner, and I’ve charted down some goals & challenges for each week! The focus of that week conveniently circled around the theme of Friendship.
I began to ask myself — why haven’t I been able to enjoy spellbinding friendships that give me a sense of safety & affirmation? How am I able to tap into more people who are in tune with how I think & feel? Or at least, have the ability to accept a thinking or feeling that is different from theirs, in a compassionate & supportive way?
I’ve always thought of my friendships as being few and far between. I had the occasional crew whom I saw regularly, mostly for nongkrong and nothing constructive. In hindsight, too much time was spent brooding over our common misery and I was often left socially exhausted with no takeaways or warm fuzzy feelings to take home.
And that’s not what I stand for, not anymore! Lunch Box moments are meant for everyone to have a bite of everything, and if forbidding, take a piece or two home for mid-day snacking. Fortunately, I’ve made new friends and kept old friends who are all in love with food (and life!) in a way that I can relate with. So that’s a lot of bento offerings.
Funny enough, I made a goal that week to be inquisitive about my existing friendships and to ponder about my offering & its value to me. The root of my intention was to breathe more life & love into what I already have, and to reclaim those comrade moments where you go, ah, I hear you, and I’ll be here for you.
Did I get to think more deeply about those questions? No, not really. (Part of setting goals is to observe how the rest of your week somehow diverts from your initial intention and make adjusments based on what you’ve just learned about yourself.) In fact, I had a better takeaway. Olen, my best friend in Bali, introduced me to her own best friend from Jakarta. Kenny flew in for a weekend getaway and we had the best time connecting the triangle of best friends, and nongkrong with so much laughs that left me full, full, spilling with warmth & silliness.
I mean, it doesn’t get better than this — Saying hello just 24 hours ago and cuddling by the time we’re about to part:
And of course, so much fun in the (setting) sun:
So I give my gratitude to the beautiful friendships I made (and polished!) that week —this is to Olen, Kenny, Jess & Lutz.
Lunch Box friend, I hope you have had a campfire moment with your own friends lately. I hope you and your friends are equally as aware of how nourishing it can be for friends to come together and to sit at someone’s home, talk about each other’s worst sexual experiences, give an actual introduction & demonstration for using a menstrual cup, or whatever floats your love boat! And of course, pack all of your most intimate & vulnerable moments, and bring it to your next Lunch Box moment.
Thank you for being patient with me, and I’m so sure you’ve been doing well and in great form. If you liked this edition, please tell me what you’d like to hear more about, so I can deliver another fulfilling lunch box to you!
PS: Coming Tuesday I’ll be making the great leap to travel to Europe for the first time of my life! If you have tips and pointers to share about Budapest, Prague, Berlin, Lisbon & Porto, please send them my way 🌻